Why Rebecca Black Should be Hailed as a Hero and not Crucified

Somehow I am once again having difficulty finding the time to blog. The end-of-senior-year festivities have hit like a wave. But here's a post I've been thinking about for awhile:

In the span of a few short days, a pretty, thirteen-year-old, all-American girl became the most infamous and widely hated individual since Adolph Hitler. You all know her - Rebecca Black - the auto-tuned voice behind the YouTube sensation "Friday."

In a sea of angry villagers screaming "witch," I am here to boldly say that Rebecca Black is a hero. Go ahead and hang me.

That does not mean that I think "Friday" is a great song. (P.S. Some people legitimately do.) It is a pointless, upbeat, and endlessly catch tune that should be great for middle school students. It should not be the national hit that it has become. And the overnight success is exactly why dear Rebecca deserves to be thanked and not criticized or threatened.

I believe that Americans have misdirected their outrage. Most people criticize Rebecca's "Friday" for its lyrics which includes the lines "Kickin' in the front seat. Sittin' in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take?"

The most shocking aspect of these ridiculous lyrics is that they actually fit into today's music landscape quite well. Take Katy Perry and Kanye West's collaborative "E.T." for example which features the lyrics "I'ma disrobe you. Then I'ma probe you."

Or Jeremih's "Down on Me": "And I'm gonna lick it, lick it, lick it 'til her hicky have her Rev running. Keep you running 'til you whimpy, bang, bang, bang, bang."

And how could I forget Britney Spear's latest hit "Till the World Ends?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh... Whoa oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh..."

The lyrics in these songs could be considered even more laughable than Rebecca's, but that doesn't stop you from jamming to them on your way to school. Rebecca's producers set out to create a star out of the girl-next-door. The fact that t hey succeeded reveals the dire straits today's music industry has encountered. Rebecca accidentally parodied the biggest hits of the day, and her producers unknowingly showed America how easy it is to create an overnight hit with a horrible jingle.

So, Americans don't hate Rebecca. They are unconsciously angry because of today's senseless crap parading under the surname of music. Instead of Rebecca, direct your anger at the radio superstars who continue to insult our standards and our intelligence. Wake up America! Let's demand something better! Demand art!

Because in the end, a thirteen-year-old auto-tuned girl, however sweet, shouldn't be able to produce a hit song about the days of the week. Rebecca, I salute you.

The "Friday" Official Video